LEE CARSLEY...
DERBY crying aside. Here's something to cheer us up.
Some of the best one-liners from one of the funniest threads on When Skies Are Grey in ages. Have a look here for the full one (http://everton.rivals.net/FORUM/pgePosts.aspx?boardId=103&clubId=33&threadId=239282&pageNumber=1) which got a staggering 24,927 views and counting.
* IF you look in the mirror, in the dark, and say 'Lee Carsley' 3 times, he appears and breaks up the opposition attack.
* A Lee Carlsey tackle is the preferred method of execution in 16 US states
* When MC Hammer sang "You can't touch this", Lee Carsley touched it anyway. MC Hammer was too scared to say anything.
* Lee Carsley played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
* Apple pay Lee Carsley £1.25 everytime he listens to a song.
* Unbeknown to us all, 'The Credit Crunch' was actually started by Lee Carsley tackle on Reading midfielder Bobby Convey.
* When Lee Carsley calls Ryanair, he gets put through to a human being within 0.000001 of a second. Then kills him.
* Lee Carsley knows the truth about Per Kroldrup.
* Lee Carsley fought the law.........and Lee Carsley won
* Lee Carsley beat purple aki in arm wrestling
* If you play 'Stairway To Heaven' backwards, you can hear Lee Carsley doing your sister.
* Steven Gerrard once had an ample fod, until Lee Carsley patted him on the head.
* Halley's comet is actually a mitre multiplex Lee carsely volleyed dead high in training.
* The Bible was originally called 'Lee Carsley and Friends'
* Lee Carsley doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chico once asked him what time it was, Carsley killed him with a slide tackle.
* Lee Carsley can tackle you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their shins and yell "What The Hell was That?" "
* Lee Carsley has a bowl of kopites by his TV chair at home and eats them like Jelly Babies, alternating between limbs and head.
* Lee Carsley always gets his missus to take the lids off the jars. When she can't she gives them to him and he flips them off dead easy. He always says "You loosened it up for me". But she didn't. Lee Carsley doesn't need anyone to loosen the lid of any jar. He's just saying it to make her feel good.
* The Holy Grail has an engraving on it which says 'Cars's Pint'
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Greg O'Keeffe
After Saturday, if i was Moyes, i'd be charging down the M6 in my gleaming new X5 with a boot full of cash and do what is needed to get Carsley back at Goodison Park for the remainder of this campaign. I don't care about his weaknesses and age, at least he'd organise the team, put in a tackle and show Fellaini the ropes for 8 months.
*Chuck Norris only learned to round-house kick when he saw Lee Carsley kick a football. Thus Super Lee is tougher than Chuck Norris
hmm, this strikes me as:
- bluenose: hmmm, the kopites have that continual joke thing about skrtel being hard, we've got to have one aswell!
- bluenose mate - good idea! i know, let's do one about lee carsley.
bluenose: that player who doesnt play for us anymore?
bluenose mate: yeah!