HE'S GOT RED HAIR BUT...CHRIS EVANS CAN DO ONE.

He's been blabbing to the Daily Mail here about how his media group had a sniff around the blues in 1998 because we had 'hardly any debt'.

Eh? Is that the same club which had to flog Duncan Ferguson because we were on the bones of our Royal Blue derriere.

Even if his claims are half-true, it's still frightening. We love to wind the Reds up about their calamitous Yanks but could you imagine us being owned by the Radio 2 DJ - presumably with Danny Baker as chairman and Gazza on the board?.

Makes you shudder doesn't it?

In more positive, and hopefully true, news it looks like we've snapped up a promising (and coveted) German U-17 international from Hamburg.

Mustafi Shkodran was obviously impressed with what he saw when we invited him over to Finch Farm, and you can't help thinking it's a world away from the days of Nigel Martyn being left waiting at Park Foods and Ravanelli taking one look at the charmingly rustic Bellefield and getting off.

Here are his quotes: "I always wanted to play in England and would love to absolutely master The Premier League. With the move to Everton for me it is a dream come true," Shkodan told SPOX website.

"I see myself as an enormously strong-willed guy who never gives up. So I think I suit the English league. I will fight as long and give everything until I break into the first team.

"It's true that those other clubs were interested in me. But the three clubs did not give the same vision that I had at Everton.

"Everton's coaches made a great effort with me. They came to Germany and viewed games of me. That was important to me.

"I immediately felt well on Merseyside. It all fits and then I, along with my family, decided that I will make the step."

The best bit is the quotes from old Jens Todt.

"When English clubs approach, we cannot compete financially," said Todt.

"We wanted to keep Shkodran happy, but we must accept his change. Happy are we? Of course not."

Happy are we? Ha ha. Also, great news about Jags getting some well-deserved awards last night, and Moyes speaking positively to Gabby Logan during Inside Sport on BBC1 - even if he did reveal he wants to manage Scotland (!) one day and hinted further at ambitions beyond Goodison.

Finally, here's some pics of our lads in their tuxes from the awards do. Loving Cahill's 'Underbelly' Sydney gangster look and Fellaini's Belgian Next catalogue pose. Saha wouldn't look out of place at the Oscars though would he? The slick cat.