DAILY MAIL WRITER SIMON JONES ON WHY JOLEON LESCOTT WILL SWAP EVERTON F.C. FOR MANCHESTER CITY

My attention is caught by a piece headlined 'Everton Losing City Battle over Lescott' and despite knowing better I click on it.

Turns out that the Daily Mail's Simon Jones is Sportsmail's 'man on the inside of all the biggest (and littlest) transfer moves this summer'.

In his daily column he gives us the lowdown into the deals that will be done, what's bubbling under, and those that are pure fantasy.

Helpfully, the blurb adds 'A 5/5-rating means The Insider reckons it's a done deal; 0/5 means The Insider has his mortgage on it not happening'.

So there you have it. A veritable authority then.

If by 'authority', you mean the wisdom of a sun-burned Ing-er-lund fan in a sports bar in Magaluf who's never been to the match in his life.

Because for a supposedly informed sports hack, he's got a madly skewed view of the Premier League.

Here's the bit I take main exception to:

'Where Chelsea were able to fend off City's interest in John Terry by offering their captain an improved £150,000-a-week deal to keep him happy, what can Everton give his England team-mate Lescott?

'He wants to spend World Cup year partnering Kolo Toure in a City team full of ambition and potential rather than battling to keep Everton in the top half of the table against the odds'.

The second paragraph in particular couldn't be more irritating if it was uttered by Boris Johnson sitting in the Kop with a megaphone.

Simon Jones actually believes, and this is a largely paraphrased piece based on his interpretation, that going to City will boost Lescott's world cup chances.

Errrrr. Where do I start? For one, he's already in the England squad after shining for a team who've finished fifth in the last two seasons.

The only way he'd realistically boost his England chances would be joining Champions Manchester United, or getting right under the national presses' noses at top four London outfits Chelsea and Arsenal. But, City? Seriously? Jog on Simon you gimp.

And as for spending the year partnering Kolo Toure!!? So he'd rather partner an over-priced 28-year-old that ever-shrewd judge of a player Arsene Wenger has released, than fellow up-and-coming England centre back Jagielka or Nigerian captain Yobo?

Come on Simon, are you on a retainer from the Arabs?

Then there's his assessment of City as a 'team full of ambition and potential' and us as a team battling to stay in the top half of the table against the odds.

This one's almost too easy. We're battling to break the top four, and most sane pundits reckon we've as good a chance as City and their garishly-spent millions. We've got a team, albeit a compact one and they've got a second-rate bunch of sky blue galacticos who are yet to prove they can play together.

And then there's Simon's smug rhetorical question of what we can offer in the face of City? Well, European football for a start. A chance to continue to progress under one of the league's proven top managers. Playing in his preferred centre-back spot (where he spent most of last season despite the agitators lamely using that as a reason for him to join City).

It's all a big joke which is about as funny as Michael McIntyre. If Lescott goes to City it'll be about money. No more, no less (except in his case when he'll be able to bathe in Evian and buy his cousins Bentleys).

They reckon people get the political leader they deserve. Well newspapers definitely get the columnists they deserve.

If the Daily Mail was a man he'd probably be a bit thick, very smug, and very, very annoying. Say no more.